Thread the needle

My trust is deep..so shaking the foundation's sure to rupture me
I concieved a thought,'twas seized in court and I can't even fight for joint custody
From lust in speech to love, these teardrops rust my gearbox
So shifting out of this is near impossible, but fear not
When it appears the situations gotten out of hand
I use my feet to kick around the thoughts I used to muse myself to sleep with
It helps to keep this, a record next to stretch erasers
They said you'd wake in pride but breaking contact still affects you major
I dont expect parades when yesterdays were hard to stomach
But your intestines hold the rubble and theres trouble when your lunch is nothin
You dont want to vomit this, the plot's monotonous, on top of it
The world begat a million fish to bait and play with, honest kid
You'll suffer from it, rebound or refound happiness
Your still resisting everything that has you mad at this
Your still insisting that the blame remains away from you
And feed me food for thought while chewing on your "maybe" baby food
Omission is still lying in a personal journal
You can catch me with a "didnt know" but your own word's'll hurt you
Im here for stress relief and yes I see that I incessantly
Repressed the week with less then generous attempts to get you weak
It was with good intent, I stood, you went..and gave me false promises
All to start and end this Cold War with your own armistice
But you layed down weapons without surrender
And waited for the real man to enter while playing pretender
I broke down, I had a shattered window and flat tires
Left and cast aside on the highway where the pretty cars just passed by
Plus your company asked nicer
They could feed you what you wanted to hear to help you lie and laugh lighter
Friends are there, on either side, they're important factors
But you betrayed a so-called friend when leaving from a sure disaster
I say im over it, im over it, and "so ill live"
an ode to cope with this
the words are hopelessness that dribble from my broken lips and spoken with
A confidence...the fact is my feelings were real then
and they're real now
Even with your tiremarks on my heart from where you peeled out
I'm not the type to open up because my swollen cuts come out of hiding
And usually they scare whoever's there that I try to confide in
Ive got a million Issues that these people read
Im an open book that keeps to creed and reaches those who seem diseased
You read between the lines and take a false message to wrong better
Or try to find the reason why I "lied" in long letters
Harping? Sure...I dont doubt Ive been dancing on your calloused nerves
But you left me long before this,you just left out the words
I tryed to identify the only way I knew how to
By pressing on myself to show just what you made me feel without you
If you read this, through the genius, just know this
Notice that I tryed my damndest to be what you wanted when you left to road trip
Approaching every slip with different angles
Trying to strangle my impulses to indulge in giving you a thousand crazy labels
I never yelled, I never screamed, I never felt I needed to
I tryed to dignify myself by seeing through your eyes and into you
And every interview I'd cast you in
Was simply me harrassing
Just to ask you when
The things you said were happening
Return Sender plays on the stereo
People still ask me just to "let it go", but the passion's incredible
Free time, Im sure at points you had it
Thats why you got anxious to phone friends when those you knew there would leave you static
I wanted them to call you too, and ask how you've been
Because if you didnt want to talk to me, at least you'd have conversation with familiar humans
that you cared about
You said nothing big, I rest complied
You asked a question and I made a point to never lie
Even still I feel the need to spill, and if you read this text I write
Remember, yeah...Im rambling, and not even I can accept Im right
But wrong is not my title either
I dont think the blame should have a chisseled giver or reciever
But if this is where the track ends, I'll exit the passenger's seat
And wish you well on new experiences you happen to meet
Im not giving up, I couldn't if I tried
Im just at peace enough now to give you a goodbye if thats what your looking for.